Aaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee - Brain Dead!

I never knew it would take a movie to write my first blog... but here I am penning down something about a movie whose trailers may attract you to the theatre, but trust me you could spend the money somewhere else!

There are bad movies, then there are worse movies and then there are the really pathetic ones and after all those comes Aisha!

Well some of my friends (or should I say a particular friend) who liked Aisha said I might have gone in with wrong expectations, so I will set the expectations straight. I walked in to the movie to see some fun, some shaadis and a decent enough continuity that would not put me to sleep. 5 min into the movie and you start wondering why are you there.

As far as the story goes, people told me it was based on Emma, or the movie Clueless neither of which I had watched or read so I had no expectation so as to say. Well in the initial few scenes I realized that this movie is gonna be a fashion parade of all the big brands (the ones which we usually tend to window shop), Delhi high society life and a few love stories thrown in between. 10 min later your brain goes dead and you stop processing any thought about the movie. All you do is sit there, coz your brain does not process even the small action of walking out of the theatre.

The story is simple - In one of his past lives Anil Kapoor had done some favors to the Bijli Khandaan and hence they wanted to repay him in kind. Now you know Anil, he would not accept money just like that, so he asked them to gift his second child on her birthday. Guess they gifted her a video camera and that’s how she thought of producing a film. So Anil, Rhea and the Bijli's now are sitting on a pile of money and a camera thinking what to do. In walks Sonam, saying that she has to shop. Just for fun, they shoot every bit of shopping that Sonam does along with her friends. I guess they also had a few tapes of Sonam taking her first acting lessons in life and they throw them in too. By now since they realize that they have spent a lot of reel videotaping the whole thing so might as well try to get more money to cover the credit card bills. So they roll everything into a movie and call it Aisha ( More of Haiishya ... the kind of sound u make after u are done with task )

Now there remain a few questions - what is the so-called intelligent Abhay Deol doing in such a movie. Well it appears that Abhay was on a break from his movies and wanted to chill out in life. Anil just happened to notice that and offered him money to do nothing...( I would have loved that job too ) So we see him there ...but a true professional that he is, he could not resist giving something in return and so he tries to act in a few scenes. The moment he does that, the director ( if there is one ) calls it 'CUT' and story rolls on.

How come the songs and music happen to be good – Its simple – Javed sahab dint know what was going on the sets and he delivered his usual best. So the music happens to be the only good part about the movie.

Why do we so many designer products like L’Oreal, Dior, Gucci and others so frequently in the movie – answer is simple, instead of paying a huge amount for 30 second advertisements on TV, where people change channels as soon as they start; they get the viewer’s undivided ( ya, anything else hardly calls for attention ) for 2 hours 15 min. Volkswagen to jumps on the bandwagon…( where else do they show the extreme maneuverability of the Beetle ). But I am really astonished…aint the Beetle supposed to come with tubeless tires???

Now about the acting

Sonam Kapoor – Now I realize why she was given a shorter role in Delhi 6 – The girl simply cant act to save her life. And yes, she is fat. On top of it she is made to wear the worst clothes ( I am doubtful abt the ‘made’ part… it might be entirely out of choice ) a jeans over a swimsuit, shorts over swimsuit, then a black one piece ending well above the knee when she is visiting her sister in hospital and what not.

Pinky Bose (that’s the screen name) – She does a good scene of bitching and swearing about everyone and wearing clothes with huge green frogs with red eyes painted over them. Not to mention her kind of cute oval framed glasses and the eye numbing pink colored nail polish. But overall bearable

Shefali –(another screen name) – the girl starts as a village girl and plays it cool..then transforms into a modern lady with scanty dresses and no mind of her own and ruins her part totally

Aarti (Lisa Haydon) – well she did look good till she sang some Hindi classical at Diwali night… that was the end of it.

Dhruv – (some weird actual name….forgot it) – he looks like he is straight out of the gym and on the sets to play the hulk and kiss and flirt with every woman. His aim of life is to get in bed with a girl and hence his mission statement says – “ Ye nahi to koi aur sahi”

Abhay Deol – I will skip him

Cyrus – he does play a decent role as per expected of him except that we don’t end up liking it at all.

The rest of them are pretty forgettable

Now after all this, there is one last question that remains – if at all the movie makes some money… where will it go? Simple – to all the critics who seem to have been bribed to write good reviews about the movie. Seriously after watching the movie in a 1/4^th full theatre, which got half empty in the interval and then the audience started putting in their own dialogues; I wake up today morning to see a 4star rating in the newspaper.

So all those who save their money due to me…please treat me for dinner or lunch or take me to a better movie just to get my brain restarted.!!!